Mom2Mentor
Encouraging and motivating single mothers, reminding them of their strength and determination. They can succeed as a single parent as long as they remain focused.
Its not about how you arrived at the single mom title, but, its what you do with it!
Mom2Mentor
Patience: The Seed Every Child Needs
We explore the importance of planting patience as a character trait in our children through both teaching and modeling this crucial skill. As mentors to our children, we must recognize they learn more from watching our behavior than from our verbal corrections, making our own patience practice essential for their development.
• Children observe and mimic our behaviors, including impatience and hasty decision-making
• Patience is the capacity to accept delays without becoming annoyed or anxious
• The "microwave mentality" often leads to poor decisions and regret
• Practice listing wants/needs with timeframes to identify patience challenges
• Consider whether immediate desires (like relationships or job changes) are truly beneficial
• Learning to accept "blocks" as blessings can prevent repeated mistakes
• Taking 24 hours before making important decisions helps cultivate patience
• Parents must actively teach life skills, not just correct behaviors
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It's not how you arrived at the title, but what you do with it.
Hey ladies, welcome to the Mom2Mentor podcast. If this is your first time joining, welcome If you are a repeat listener. Thank you so much for your loyalty. I really truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Hey, I'm not going to prolong today's discussion or episode. As you know, and as a repeat listener, I've been planning a virtual character garden, and that garden consists of identifying characteristic traits we want to plant into your child or your children to help them be successful in this world. And this is also a reminder you are more than a mom, you are a mentor. And what is a mentor? It's a person who gives help and advice to those with less experience about life, to those with less experience about life. And who would that be? That's right your children or your child.
Speaker 1:As parents and myself, I was more verbal than visual and meaning. I was correcting my children as trying to change that behavior. They were displaying, versus not always recognizing. They're paying attention to what they see. Hmm, yeah, mom. So guess what? I'm not in this boat by myself. Your children are also paying attention to what they see in you, what type of example you are being in front of them. So it's important for us to try to display more positive behaviors than negative and try to consciously control what our children see and hear. I tell you from experience yeah, there's some things I saw my kids doing that I know they only saw this behavior from me. It was nothing that I said to them.
Speaker 1:This podcast is all about mentoring and parenting and getting in position for our children to be successful in life, because at some point you're going to have to release them into the world. So let's prepare them so they can be successful. All right, I'm getting back on topic here Again. If you're a repeat listener, you know I have a tendency to get off the exit on my journey. So what am I talking about today? The character seed that I want to plant today is patience. Ooh, this is a hot topic and guess what? I'm still working on me when it comes to patience, and I guess that some of you are in the same position when it comes to waiting. Right, you probably have that microwave mentality of I need this right now Because that's what a microwave does it speeds up the process of cooking, right, and then it doesn't always taste good in the microwave. Sometimes you got to use a stove, you got to use the oven right way. Sometimes you got to use a stove, you got to use the oven right.
Speaker 1:Patience, and how to define patience, what it is and why we need it. The definition of patience is the mental capacity to accept or tolerate delay that's the word of the day. Delay and resolving problems without becoming annoyed or anxious for things we want or need. That's my problem and that's why I struggle sometimes with working in groups or teams, because I know what I want and I know when I want it. I don't like to keep talking about the same thing over and over again. That drives me bananas and I'm sure with you as well, moms. Not getting that resolution you need immediately drives you crazy.
Speaker 1:And then, as a result of us going bananas, then we make some bad decisions because we don't want to wait. And then we wonder why that decision is bad? Because we wouldn't take the time to research it, ask more questions about it. We just jump right in and then after the fact, oh crap, why did I do that? It's not because we're impatient. Why do we need patience? Because everything we ask or want isn't going to happen immediately, and it's not always a bad thing for it not to happen immediately. Right, there could be a reason. There could be a block of something that's out there. That's better. But if we don't display that patience and allow the better to happen, we're always going to get into this vicious cycle of why did I do that? That's how I know.
Speaker 1:So, ladies, again, when you're making decisions, take your time, think on it before you jump in with both feet. Yeah, at least 24 hours. And again, talking to myself, I'm trying to work on myself right here as well, and I think I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing better when it comes to making decisions. I am now waiting 24 hours on critical issues. I'm waiting that have long-term impact. We are going to have to make decisions every day about one thing or another and we have to display patience. And when we display patience and learn how to do that, then we have to teach our children. Everything is not going to be right when you ask for it, it's just not.
Speaker 1:If we want to cultivate or nurture patience, here's an exercise I would challenge you to do List things that you want or need. Then add a time frame or date you want to receive your wants or needs. I use notebook and OneNote to capture ideas and thoughts, so you can do the same right. Just take this opportunity, capture what you want or need and put a time frame around it. You may say, yeah, I need this in 24 hours. How are you going to get it? You're going to borrow it. You're going to get a second job. What are you going to do? How are you going to get it? Watch where I'm going with this, because that 24 hours may come around and you may not have that money, and that's where patience comes into play. You may want a new relationship. Why do you want a new relationship?
Speaker 1:I hear a lot of young ladies saying I miss being in a relationship, and that's fine. But is it because of loneliness or there's just a void in your life that you think a relationship can feel? Hmm, yeah, it may not be a relationship at all. It may be you taking the opportunity to go after something you really want in life, related to your career, your hobby, something that could help fill that void. So that doesn't mean you have to have a man, and I think having a man or being in a relationship is a good thing, especially if you understand each other and there's good balance there. But sometimes you're just not going to find that. So do you go out and settle for any guy that comes along and guess what? Sometimes that happens because we think, well, I'm lonely. This is how I feel the loneliness versus really understanding that void that you're experiencing in your life and going back and filling it with just taking that hobby.
Speaker 1:And going to another level. Look, I'm podcasting and I love it. I absolutely love podcasting. I was self-taught. I was self-taught. I went out and I did my research and I did my reviews and I bought the equipment and all of that stuff and I enjoy it. It's one of my favorite things to do and even though I have limited interaction with you all Now, does it take the place of a relationship, kind of sort of right?
Speaker 1:But I'm at the stage of my life where I'm rounding out life and some things are more important than others. Why do you want these items? And once you put that down, and then what type of timeframe you're looking at for these things to happen, because that's how you're going to define how patient you are. That's how we cultivate and we identify where our level of patience is, because that's important. Again, remember, you're going to have to pay this for it with your children. So do that exercise and I'd love to know how that comes out Now. I just gave you an example of a relationship being in a relationship, not being in a relationship.
Speaker 1:But what about your job, your career as moms? We have children now, so it's more than me, it's we, and so some things have to change as a result of the we. We have income coming in, but it's a job that we may not like, and that's okay. But keep in mind, if you say I just can't stand the people I work with, if you say I just can't stand the people I work with, well, guess what, moms, the grass isn't always greener next door, at another place of employment, because you still have people. So do you learn how to deal with those people?
Speaker 1:And then you set up a time frame, right, if you're having issues with your coworkers, then OK, let me get this 30, 60 days, and maybe it's me and sometimes and again I'm speaking to myself, it's me, it's not them. Sometimes it's me is how I receive things, and I'm already prejudging and formulating my opinion, versus saying you know what? Take a step back, absorb what is happening. Now do you need to acknowledge how that person approached you, or do you say you know what? Okay, whatever, now that I know, thank you for being honest and I'm going to move on, and a response may never even be required based on how that person approached you. Yep, and guess what? Now you just found peace.
Speaker 1:But again we get in jobs. We don't like them because we don't like our coworkers, and sometimes we don't even like the responsibilities that we're given, and so we're quick to give up and say I'm moving on to the next one. Well, guess what? There's still going to be a process you got to follow. There's still going to be people you have to work with. So, building that patience, understanding the why, why you're impatient, and what the value is when you learn to develop patience Because when you learn to develop patience, you're going to identify better things for you. Mm-hmm, and understand things take time, just as with this podcast, in this series that I'm doing about planting seeds. Anybody ever garden before? You know, if you plant a seed, it's not. Whatever you plant, it's not going to sprout up overnight. You have to cultivate it.
Speaker 1:You know I mentioned in the past I'm a Christian and I would say here recently I've asked God to block anything that I've asked for. If it's not for me, block it. I don't need additional drama, I don't need to be on that carousel experiencing the same mistakes over and over and over again, because I'm impatient. So I said, god, if it's not meant for me, block it. If it's blocked, I'm good, thank you. And I move on. And I'm glad that I'm at this area in my life and I'm glad that I'm at this area in my life. I'm able to move on and say you know what is not in your will, I am going to accept the block because this isn't meant for me, because I'm tired of making the same mistakes over and over and over again because of lack of patience. Because of lack of patience. And I tell you, it's a beautiful thing when you don't get what you want. It really is.
Speaker 1:So, ladies, the next time you think about that relationship and it doesn't work out, and he says it's me, it's not, you count your blessings, not. You count your blessings. Or that job you thought was for you had your name written all over it, and they say sorry, we found a better candidate. Count your blessings. That's a good thing and understand that there's better out there for you. And that's how you explain it to your children If they don't get something that they really want or think they need, there's something better for you. That's your talk off Again, not just to your children, but to you.
Speaker 1:All right, ladies, now, if you enjoyed this episode, I encourage you to tell another single mom. It's all about mentoring being that example for our children. Yeah, because they're just starting out in this world and you're probably halfway in between life. Right now, where I'm finishing out life, I've learned a lot related to parenting and what's needed to be a good parent Because, again, while I was raising my children, there was a lot of correcting happening, but I wasn't doing an effective job with educating, talking with them, teaching them about life. I encourage you, moms, take this opportunity. Don't just correct your children. Teach them. Don't put it on the schools, don't put it on other institutions. Own your responsibility as a parent to teach your children. Hey, have a wonderful day, a fantastic week and a marvelous month. Take care.
