Mom2Mentor
Encouraging and motivating single mothers, reminding them of their strength and determination. They can succeed as a single parent as long as they remain focused.
Its not about how you arrived at the single mom title, but, its what you do with it!
Mom2Mentor
Strong Moms, Stronger Kids: The Confidence Connection
We're continuing our series on planting character seeds in our children, focusing this week on building confidence both in our kids and ourselves. As a single mom who struggled with confidence issues growing up, I share insights on how modeling confident behavior impacts our children more than what we tell them.
• Children learn more from watching our behavior than from hearing our instructions
• Confidence gives children strength to navigate life's disappointments without breaking down
• People with predatory intentions often target those who display weakness or low self-esteem
• Teaching kids to embrace their uniqueness helps build confidence against criticism
• Confident people may break down emotionally, but they don't stay there
• Our children are looking to us as their primary mentors, even as they get older
Visit singlemomsunitedpodcast.com if you're interested in sharing your story about overcoming parenting challenges on the Mom2Mentor podcast. Challenge yourself to put down your phone for at least an hour each day and limit social media time to connect with your children instead.
https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/
It's not how you arrived at the title, but what you do with it.
Hey ladies, welcome to the Mom2Mentor podcast. If this is your first time joining, welcome If you are a repeat listener. Thank you for your loyalty. Hey, this podcast is designed to encourage and motivate moms, specifically single moms. As a single mom myself, I'm trying to pay forward some of the things I've learned throughout life that I think can help you with your own parenting skills. So last week, if you heard the episode, I'm talking about planting character seeds, or planting a virtual garden using character seeds. Last week I talked about apology and why we should teach our children about apologizing and what the value is in apologizing. Right, because they're going to have to do it at some point throughout life and they're going to have to do it multiple times, and so let's set them up on how and when they need to apologize and what it means to apologize. So if you didn't hear last week's episode, it's not too late. You can go back and review that wherever you get your podcast and say, hey, let me hear the latest Mom to Mentor episode entitled Apology. And so again, a little nugget for you moms to share with your children and even you. Right, because some things we just weren't taught, some things we just didn't see or hear as we were growing up, and so we had to feel around in the dark when it came to things as far as how to navigate and respond to certain situations, because we never saw it. I didn't see some things. It's no one's fault, it's just that I didn't see it. So you have to keep in mind, mom, when we talk about being a mentor. It's not only just giving verbal responses or correction to your child, but when we're talking about being a mentor, they have to see us doing things. They have to see us doing things. They have to see us doing things Now, for example, I allowed my daughter to see me apologize this week. She heard me say I'm sorry to someone because of the fact of how I approached the situation right. So remember, a good mom teaches. A better mom learns to teach. So I think I was a pretty good mom this week, and it doesn't matter the age. Your children are still looking up to you, mom, so let's be a good example to them. And if we really want them to change their behavior, they have to see us doing some positive things and our own behavior reflecting that, because we can talk until we're blue in the face, but until they actually see what we're asking them to do. That's what's going to make the difference. Yeah, that's what's going to make the difference. Yeah, that's what's going to make the difference, not about how much we talk and tell them correct, but what they see. So, as you go into a new week, think about that. What are you going to allow your child to see? What are you going to teach your child through their eyes? Think about, think about that, right, and then think about last week. What did you teach them Just by your own behavior? Yeah, all right, let me get moving. Let me get moving.
Speaker 1:I get off the highway, as you know, from time to time. So let me get back on the highway with our topic for today. So today I'm talking about confidence, building confidence in your child, building confidence in you mom. Yeah, and all confidence is strength. It's being able to navigate life's challenges Right With strength and not breaking down because it's easy. Oh, my goodness. Breaking down because it's easy, oh my goodness. It is so easy for us to display weakness and to cry and to break down and say I can't do this anymore. It's very easy. But what's hard is just maintaining strength.
Speaker 1:When disappointments come, do you break down? Or do you say you know what? Do you break down? Or do you say you know what? That was just something not meant for me. Yeah, trust me, I've been there multiple times and as a Christian, I said thank God for the block. I appreciate you blocking that because I didn't need it anyway and I didn't have the clear vision or the knowledge to know I didn't need that or it wasn't right for me. So thank you for the block. That's how I developed my own strength is because I acknowledge I didn't need whatever I was pursuing Right. So your kids, as they grow up, they're going to be challenged by other kids talking about them and just different things that happens in life, those disappointments that come. So what are you going to do to teach them about those disappointments and how to handle those disappointments?
Speaker 1:Additionally, when we talk about confidence, you know, as I was growing up, I mentioned before I was heavy set. I still am, but I was talked about so much that it interrupted my own confidence Because everywhere I went, when I walked in a room, it was like, oh, here comes fatty, or here comes fatso or so and so right. So my confidence wasn't there. So oftentimes I did not hold my head high because of how I looked and because of how people made me feel. So how do you encourage and cultivate that seed of confidence in your child when they just have low self-esteem? Because that's what it is, it's low self-esteem. And even for yourself, right?
Speaker 1:You may have some characteristic on your body that you don't like and that people have a tendency to point that out. So how do you build your own confidence? Well, I said it in a prior episode, you just say I'm unique, right? So whatever that variation is that is unlike everyone else, hey, I'm unique. That's how you build that confidence. That's how you go about being strong. When people want to point out those deficiencies or those defects on your body, hey, I'm unique. And you keep moving. It's just that simple.
Speaker 1:And that's what you would tell your child, because they're going to need that confidence. Why do you need confidence? Because if you don't have that confidence, it's the exact opposite. It's going to display a weakness and people pounce on weakness. That's how they get folks manipulate you. They see that weakness, they see you coming. Oh, I'm going to go right over here because that person has no or low self-esteem. So I'm going to go ahead and take advantage and do what I need to do, because I see they just don't have that confidence.
Speaker 1:So that's number one, mom. You're building up that self-esteem with your child and making sure that when they have that strength that no one, anyone, can come along and take that away from them. And it's important, especially as they're going through this learning age in life, your school age children, because once that confidence is broken, look, their grades start to suffer. I feel less than because I'm not confident, because someone has manipulated my own issues, have turned against me. But when you're confident, folks are not going to approach you in that manner. Matter of fact, they may not approach you at all because what they see is strength. Oh, I'm not going over there and touching that, no-uh. No, you can tell the wall is up and I ain't even going to try to penetrate it right?
Speaker 1:So again, this week, mom, we're planting confidence not just into your child but into you. Let them see you be confident. Let them see you show strength during disappointment. Let them see that that's how they learn, that's who you are as a mentor. You're not just a nourisher, you are someone your children look up to. That they value. Because if they don't look at you that way. They're going to look at someone else that way, and that's not always a good thing. It's not. So let us start at home with you and so be the strength, be that person that your child can look up to and value, value you. Yeah, you're not perfect, but they still should see some things about you that says that's my mom, that's my mom, and be proud of you. That's what you want. And, in turn, guess what? They're going to start depicting that same behavior that they've seen you do. And now you're going to be like that's my child, I'm so proud of them. See how that works, right.
Speaker 1:So, ladies, again, make sure your child see more positive things with your behaviors than negative, because it's going to pay off in the end. It is, I promise you it is. And again, to cultivate confidence, you just want to go back and reassure them. You can do this. It's okay. You know things are going to happen, but you're going to get through it. And I've said in the past, it's okay to break down, it's okay to have an emotional issue or encounter right, but you don't stay there. You don't stay there. People with confidence yeah, we break down, yeah, we do, but we don't stay there. That's what separates us from others, because I'm not going to let whatever situation happen keep me down, and that's the mindset we have to have.
Speaker 1:Moms, all right, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you did leave me some feedback. If you're interested in becoming or coming on the Mom2Mentor podcast, visit singlemomsunitedpodcastcom and register and I'll reach out to you. And again, it's about overcoming challenges as a parent, what you did and talk about what some of the successes you achieved as a result of that. I really appreciate you.
Speaker 1:I hope you have a great week, a great day, love on your children, spend time with your children and put that phone down at least an hour a day and spend time with your child. I would even also argue or challenge you to stay off of social media. Stay off of social media for a day or an hour, because a lot of times there's just a lot of negative things out there that divert your attention and you don't need that kind of stress. So I would challenge you to manage your social media interactions and use that time to spend with your child or your children, because they need you. Mom. You're more of a mentor than you really think you are because they really are watching. All right, you have a great day, Take care.
