Mom2Mentor
Encouraging and motivating single mothers, reminding them of their strength and determination. They can succeed as a single parent as long as they remain focused.
Its not about how you arrived at the single mom title, but, its what you do with it!
Mom2Mentor
The Art of Apology: Teaching Your Children Accountability
We're introducing the Mom2Mentor podcast with a new format, focusing on planting seeds of character in our children through intentional parenting and mentorship. This episode explores teaching children the art of apologizing properly—beyond just saying "I'm sorry" to include acknowledging specific behaviors.
• Transition from Single Moms United to Mom2Mentor reflects focus on mothers as mentors
• Children model what they see, making our behavior fundamental to their development
• "Planting a virtual garden" means cultivating character traits intentionally
• Start teaching basic apologies around ages 3-5 with simple "I'm sorry"
• By ages 7-8, teach children to add what they're sorry for after "I'm sorry,"
• Acknowledging specific behavior prevents repeating the same mistakes
• Many adults struggle with apologies because they weren't properly taught as children
• Break generational patterns by modeling proper apologies
• Positive reinforcement helps cultivate this character trait
• Even if you weren't taught something, seek resources to teach your children
Put down your phone for one hour and talk with your children about what apologizing really means, and if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with another mom who's trying to be the best parent she can be.
https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/
It's not how you arrived at the title, but what you do with it.
Hey ladies, welcome to the Mom2Mentor podcast. If this is your first time joining, welcome If you are a repeat listener. Thank you for your loyalty. Hey, if I sound better than I have in the past, that's because I'm using a new software woo, woo. So if you find my voice coming through clearer, let me know. I'd love to hear your feedback, to know that progress is happening. I'm all about moving forward.
Speaker 1:Again, I talked about a good mom teaches her children and a better mom learns to teach, and so we should always be learning something new, and my previous software that I used. I was struggling with it and so forth, and someone introduced me to this new software. So now I'm like, okay, well, let me try it. So this is my very first episode, and along with that comes with a new mindset or a new approach to this podcast. For those of you that have been following me over these last few years, you know the original podcast name was Single Moms United, and I recently migrated over to my new title of Mom to Mentor to better align with what the purpose is of this podcast, which is reminding you we are more than moms, we are more than nurturers, we are mentors. And what's a mentor. It is someone that we have that looks up to us, which is our children, right? They're modeling after us and they're looking at our behaviors and they're mimicking those and so, hopefully, they're mimicking more the positive than the negative. They're mimicking more the positive than the negative, right, because I know I've done some things and said some things in front of my children that I'm ashamed of, right, that they shouldn't have had to hear or see. But the good news is I hope, along this journey, that they've been able to acquire and see more positive behavior from me and while they're older now and I think I did some things right, based on what I'm seeing from them and how they're functioning in life.
Speaker 1:So, again, new software, new mindset and guess what? I'm going down a new creative path and wanting to plant a virtual garden. What is that? A garden is where most people? Well, back in my day, my mom had a garden and she planted different seeds of vegetables of her own and, as a result of that, she was able to cultivate that garden. She didn't have to go to the produce area at the grocery store because she grew her own produce and it was wonderful. We didn't have to worry about all the pesticides and everything that they do to produce these days, because she was able to put other things in place to keep the critters out and also cultivate a good garden, and so we ate good. We ate good.
Speaker 1:But when I think about we as mentors or moms as mentors and teaching our children, we have to plant certain things into them so that they can be productive in life. And when it's time for them to move on to better themselves and say you know what, I'm going to go out on my own, I'm going to do this on my own. I've had enough of mom support, right, and so you know it's going to be difficult to let them go, but you have to, because you're not always going to be here. You got to let them go out and fly on their own, make their own mistakes. We can't always go to their rescue or come to their rescue, but we can be there and start now by teaching them about life and some of the things that they're going to happen to them and character that's involved with managing in life and getting through life right. So that's what I want to talk about today. I'm going to try to be brief and each week I'm going to bring a different seed that we want to talk about or we want to plant within the child or the children about, or we want to plant within the child or the children you know, in prior episodes that I've had, you know, I always talked about putting that phone down for one hour, mom, one hour, and spend that time with your child and teaching them about different things, different aspects of life that they may go through. So this is what this podcast is about. This is what I hope to introduce to you and hopefully you say, oh, wow, that sounds great and I'm going to add this on to it, right, because it's not a one size fits all.
Speaker 1:This podcast is also about critical thinking, right, I'm hoping to plant a seed with you, mom, so that you're just like. You know what. I never thought of it like that, and if you come back and say I never thought of it like that, hey, my job is done. But anyway, all right, let's move on. Let's move on. I done got off the highway here.
Speaker 1:So the first seed we're going to plant with our kids, right, is apologizing, right, and, matter of fact, what is character, character, links to your reputation, huh, and to your child's reputation and how people see you. So it's about morals and ethics and how you interact with people. And the seed. It's the beginning of something right? Because, again, as I talked to you about what my mom did with her garden, and she had plant the seeds and then she digged a hole and she covered up and she watered it it if it wasn't raining she would make sure the weeds were pulled and she just did several things. She put a fence up to protect them so the critters wouldn't get in. She just did a lot of things to cultivate that seed. And so I'm trying to introduce that same methodology when it comes to character, right? So the first word again is apology.
Speaker 1:Why do we need to teach our children to apologize and why do they need to apologize? And why do they need to apologize? That's because at some point along the way somebody's going to get offended by something that is said or did, and so we want to apologize for that, and so we need to teach our children what it means to apologize. You know, when I was growing up and I would interrupt someone and I get told what do you say? You know I had to go back and apologize for interrupting them or doing something that was, or saying something that was, offensive and didn't realize it right. Sometimes you don't know that you've offended a person and so, therefore, once you realize it, you should go back and apologize and be sincere with that apology. And that's what we're going to talk about today. And here's the good news, mom, here is the good news. While you are sharing this with your child or your children, these are some things that, if you haven't been doing, that, hopefully, as I present that to you, it makes you think like, oh wow, I didn't do that and I'm going to start doing that, because, remember, once your child sees you do it, they're going to start attaching that behavior and start mimicking you. Ask me how I know, ask me how I know, but anyway.
Speaker 1:So the importance of planting the character seed is because, again, there will be times through life they are going to have to apologize, and it's more than just I'm sorry. Yeah, because anybody can say I'm sorry, but what are you sorry for? Hmm, because anybody can say I'm sorry, but what are you sorry for, hmm. And when you apologize and when you start doing this in the manner that it should be, it also represents a sign of maturity and you're owning your behavior or what you did to offend that person. That's maturity. When you own something, that is maturity, you're not blaming anybody else. Look, I own it, I did it and I didn't mean to do it and I'm so sorry for doing X Y Z. For doing X Y Z, it's imperative because you're going to encounter people that are going to be difficult, and sometimes it's you right, but we've got to learn how to apologize.
Speaker 1:So when should you start teaching your child how and when to apologize? You can start around the three to five age range and at that time it is okay and this is an exception of them to just say I'm sorry. You know, if they broke something in your house or didn't do X Y Z what they were supposed to do, you know, I'm sorry. You can start teaching there to at least get them prepared for the next step of the apology, because it is absolutely important that they acknowledge that behavior that they displayed and so you as a mom can go back and tell them what they did and why they should apologize right Now. I said between three to five, three to six. You know that toddler age it's okay with I'm sorry, just getting it, planting that seed of how to acknowledge behavior that they need to respond to.
Speaker 1:Now, seven and eight, now they're growing up, their vocabulary has expanded and so you've already introduced I'm sorry, but now, now the I'm sorry is no longer has a period at the end of it, it now has a comma I'm sorry. And what are you sorry for Now? This is the kicker, mom. This is a kicker, and even you. You may even apologized in the past for something that has been said or done, but you didn't go back and put the comma behind I'm sorry. You put a period Instead of acknowledging the behavior that you need to be sorry for. You need to speak that right Need to understand and elaborate on what it is that you are sorry for, because otherwise, guess what? You're going to repeat the same behavior. Your child is going to repeat the same behavior if they do not acknowledge the reason for the apology Period Period.
Speaker 1:That's why, when people get caught doing bad things, they say, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But they never go back and say I'm sorry, I did X, y, z, because most of the times they're sorry because they got caught. Yeah, and that's why they're sorry because they got caught, yeah, and that's why they're subject to repeat the bad behavior or that behavior again. But once they go back and say I apologize, I'm sorry for, and fill in the blank, now there's some sincerity there. Now it really hits home because I'm not going to do that again. I'm not going to do that again Because once you speak it out loud of what that offense was that you did, you're actually telling yourself that I'm not going to do this again. I really am sorry for this bad behavior I displayed.
Speaker 1:And again, moms, how do you cultivate that? How do you, once you see it, once you see it in your child, you acknowledge it? Hey, little Johnny, little Ruthie, hey, I saw you broke my plate because you were playing around. Saw you broke my plate because you were playing around. Okay, what do you have to say for yourself Now, if they just say I'm sorry, yeah, that's not enough. Mom, I'm sorry for breaking your plate, I'm sorry for breaking the glass, it was an accident. Because now, what are you doing? Accident because now, what are you doing?
Speaker 1:You're putting in place for them to respond to situations that they're going to encounter in life and guess what, and feel comfortable with doing it. That's why a lot of people don't apologize, they're not comfortable with it or it's incomplete if they just say I'm sorry. And if they say I'm sorry without that acknowledgement, it's incomplete because nobody ever taught them, nobody ever taught them. And now, today is the day we turn this. We turn the tables on this behavior, or generational curses, Because more than likely, more than likely, the parent wasn't taught what an apology meant or what I'm sorry means. That's why you don't hear it very often. So that's a generational curse that we can change today, not tomorrow, today, right now.
Speaker 1:So when you put that phone down for one hour, mom, let's talk about apologizing and what it means to say I'm sorry, because it's going to go a long way, especially in relationships. That's why some relationships struggle, because neither party wants to come back and acknowledge or say I'm sorry. So, guess what? Everybody goes their own way and then, oops, there goes the relationship. But if you learn how to communicate, guess what you can recover. You can recover All right. How do we cultivate this seed?
Speaker 1:Mom, again, once you see the behavior and if they do acknowledge it, give them an attaboy or a pat on the back, say great job. Or, if you see it and they don't acknowledge it right or apologize for the behavior they committed, then you will want to uncover why. Why didn't you apologize? You broke my glass and it's all the pieces. Why wouldn't you want to apologize? That's a good question and I would love to hear the answer.
Speaker 1:But, moms, we got to step up our game as mentors, because mentors teach, they educate. They're just not as a positive example for their children, but we're teaching them. We're teaching them, we're instructing them. And if you say you know what, I just don't have it in me to teach my child, then again, a good mom teaches. So you would want to go out and find the resources Because it's okay if you weren't taught something. It's okay, I promise you it's okay. But what's not okay? Is you not go out and find the answer? That's what's not okay, mom, because your children should be number one in your life. They should be. They didn't ask to be here.
Speaker 1:So we have to take it another step further to make sure that they are successful as life comes to an end and as we are no longer as prominent in their life. Right, because, as my kids are older, now they're out doing their own thing, they have their own mindsets, they know what they want to do with their lives, and so you know, as far as guidance, for me it's minimal now. Minimal Because they're doing their own thing, but what we're trying to assess and ensure that they're successful at is making sure they have the tools, the resources and understanding how to navigate this thing called life. It's real, it's very real. So, again, our word this week is apologize. That's our first seed that we're planting in our virtual garden, and I hope that you found value in this episode and if you did, leave me some feedback, please you can go to my website I haven't updated that the name yet, but I will soon. It's singlemomsunitedpodcastcom. Leave me some feedback there. Or go to my YouTube channel. Leave me some feedback there.
Speaker 1:I would love to hear from you and I want to hear what other character seeds that we can plant in your child or in you to help you be successful in navigating this thing called life, because it's important to set you up for success, and that's what we, as mentors, are designed to do or should be doing is setting you up for success, setting our children up for success. You know, or at least understand, what's happening. Why is this happening to me? Why did this go left when I thought it was going to go right, because we're not properly educating them about these behaviors, about these circumstances that are going to arise and they're going to arise often.
Speaker 1:All right, thank you so much for joining today's episode. If you enjoyed it, tell another single mom, or tell another mom who is out trying to be the best mom that she can be. And if she's looking for support, yeah, tell her about this podcast. And again, if I sound better, I want to hear that from you too. Hey, the quality of your voice sounds so much better. Let me know, because now I'm going to be super excited that I switched to this new software. All right, take care, ladies.
