.jpg)
Single Moms United
Encouraging and motivating single mothers, reminding them of their strength and determination. They can succeed as a single parent as long as they remain focused.
Its not about how you arrived at the TITLE, but, what you do with it!
Single Moms United
From Home Repairs to Finances: Equipping Kids for Life
Unlock the secrets to empowering single moms and their children with life skills that schools often overlook. Ever wondered why understanding taxes and financial management shouldn't just be the school's job? Join me as I promise to explore how as mothers, we can use our unique lifelong relationships with our children to equip them with essential skills for thriving in today's world. From practical home repairs to self-defense, this episode is packed with insights that moms can adapt to their parenting styles, fostering independence and self-reliance in their children.
I explore the crucial role of imparting practical skills like understanding insurance, performing simple home repairs, and learning self-defense. Discover how collaborating with schools on self-defense lessons can strengthen your child's real-world readiness. We also preview exciting future topics, including social etiquette, personal finance, and stress management, all aimed at supporting moms in navigating their unique journeys. Whether you're a new listener or a returning one, this episode is your guide to ensuring your children are prepared to meet life's challenges head-on.
https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/
It's not how you arrived at the title, but what you do with it.
Hey ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United podcast, where it's not about how you arrived at the title the single mom title but it's what you do with it. It doesn't matter if you acquired it by choice or by divorce. You are a single mom. Wear it well. Wear it well. Don't let the world criticize you for being a single mom. It happens. The kids are here Now. You have to embrace it and move on Now. If this is your first time visiting, welcome. If you are a repeat listener, thank you for your loyalty. If you are a repeat listener, thank you for your loyalty.
Speaker 1:Now I will put out in advance that this episode will be a little longer than normal. Again, I like to switch things up every now and then. You know, last week I inserted a poem and I think that was all but five minutes or less, and so this week I'm going to make up for that. We are back on the letter I and extracting word choices from the letter I that would and could impact parenting skills. Now, again, this is not a one size fits all, but it's all about critical thinking. And is this something I can apply to my own parenting skills? I wish I had more guidance when I was raising my children, you know I was doing a lot of feeling around in the dark. Sometimes I would find the nut and sometimes I wouldn't right, but I really wish I would have just had more guidance when it came to certain things. And that's what this podcast is all about. It's about critical thinking and saying, yeah, that makes sense. Let me see. Let me try to introduce that into my own parenting skills, because everybody is different, every culture is different, but you may be able to extract some content from this episode or episodes that I provide to you.
Speaker 1:All right, so we're going to get right down to the nitty gritty for today. So we're going to get right down to the nitty gritty for today. We're going to be talking about impact. There is a definition out there related to impact. I'm not going to go into it. I'm really going to focus on some topics I had saw on social media a while ago about what schools should be teaching our children, some basic things, life skills that schools should be teaching.
Speaker 1:Well, guess what? I disagree. Why do I disagree with that? When your children are in school, as well as my kids and even you and me, when we were in school, our teachers changed every year and then as you got into middle school, junior high, then you had multiple teachers because you had to change classes depending on what subject they were teaching. You'd have three or four different teachers after you go through junior high and high school, and that's okay and how they have everything set up. But the issue is, everybody has their own style, they have their own technique and guess what? Your child is only going to be with them for that school year, because next year it's going to be another set of teachers and then another set of teachers until they graduate. You don't have that consistency. They're there to just deliver the curriculum as they have been given to them as far as the subject that they want to specialize in. Again, it's only for a moment that your child will be with this teacher. They may develop a relationship with them, but next year it's on to a new set.
Speaker 1:When I read this document about what the schools should be teaching our kids, I was like no, no, we are not going to put all of this on the school moms. We're just not going to do that. All of this on the school moms, we're just not going to do that. Why is that important? Because your kids are going to be with you lifelong until one of you die. So, anyway, we're talking about impact.
Speaker 1:As I went through this list of what the schools or organizations should be teaching our children, this is a mom's responsibility. Today I'm going to go through each one of these and share with you how they had them listed out in social media, kind of talk a little bit to them and also give you some ideas on how to pursue some of these things. We don't get a lot of money. At least I didn't right. One of the biggest issues in raising kids on your own is finances. They always need something. These responsibilities do not I repeat, do not fall on the schools or other organizations. I believe it is our sole responsibility to teach our kids these life skills Because, at the end of the day, we got to release them to the world, moms, and when we release them to the world, we have to make sure they're set up for success, and being successful means they know how to navigate through life. So I'm just going to try to quickly go through these and I probably shouldn't have said that because I just extended this episode the document that I saw.
Speaker 1:It says one of the things that the school should be teaching is taxes. I disagree, I agree. I mean they can. They can. You should too. How about that? Because taxes are reality. If you buy something and then you're going to get that sales tax and then when they start working, they're going to have taxes taken out of their paychecks and then at the end of the year you got to file for taxes. Yeah, the school can teach that, but, mom, I think it should come from you, because this is a part of life Our children shouldn't have to worry about. Wait a minute, I worked all these hours and they told me I was getting paid this. Who took all this money out of my paycheck? They shouldn't be blindsided by that. It's up to you, mom, to educate them on what the taxes are and why taxes are deducted from their paycheck or why they pay sales tax when they go and buy stuff. And I hear you Well, I don't know, I never was taught that and guess what? That's okay, that is absolutely okay. But what we cannot do, mom or moms say oh well, let them find out on their own. We are in an age where we can look anything up. You have tax programs out there that will help educate. You have tax programs out there that will help educate you. You have YouTube out there where you can look up and just put in explain to me about taxes, sales tax and why we file taxes and how it's deducted from our paycheck. You can watch these videos and then I do believe there's comment sections on some of these pages where you could probably ask them questions or go to some of these larger tax organizations. There's other information out there that you can read up on.
Speaker 1:One of the things I did I would go to these tax services to do my income tax. I was just like as soon as I got my W-2, I was off to the races. It's like money that I needed, right, I needed this and I just needed to go off and get my taxes done. So I would go to these tax companies and the fees that they charged it was like wait what? I mean? It was like $200 and that was 30 years ago, so I can imagine what they're charging now. But it was a lot of money I was losing. I learned how to do the 1040 easy I did because I didn't want to keep losing that type of money for fees on something that I could do myself. I mean, I'm not the smartest person. I know how to follow directions.
Speaker 1:And here's the good news, mom, with the software that they have out there now and again. I don't know how much it costs, but once upon a time I think it was right around $39.95. And all you did was plug in everything and it did everything for you. Now I had to do paper, but you all have it so much easier where you just plug in your information off of your W-2 and it'll go in and tell you how much you're getting back. And yes, there still is a fee, but it's only like 30 bucks. Who can't live without 30 bucks? Right, and it's secure. They also support you if you're audited, and that's a big one. If it's just you and your kids, I wouldn't see why you would be audited, because that form is pretty basic.
Speaker 1:Teach your kids about taxes and why they exist. That's your responsibility, mom. Not to school If they want to teach it, fine. But moms, you need to take ownership of that Because, remember, we are more than just moms, we are more than just nurturers, we're educators. We are more than just nurturers, we're educators. We are educators. Remember, I told you the difference between a good mom and a bad mom is all about whether we're teaching our children or not. If you're taking the time to teach your child, you're a good mom, you're a good parent. If you're not yeah, and I'm saying that in my out loud voice you're not a good parent. If you're not again, I'm saying that in my out loud voice you're not a good parent if you're not teaching your child or your children. But it's not too late. Not too late to turn this thing around, mom. All right, let me move on. So they said what else schools should be teaching? Should be teaching our kids how to cook. Well, that shouldn't go on to the school, because each culture is different and of what they like and what they dislike, and I think it's just great to be able to continue that experience of what our ancestors taught us.
Speaker 1:My grandmother, my grandmother, was a great cook. She taught my mom and my aunts and they were great cooks, and it wasn't none of that processed food. They would pick greens, cook them on the stove. And my mom one of my favorite dishes is she used to. Every summer she would do fried corn. Oh my gosh, was that stuff good. And I try to replicate that keyword, try to replicate how my mom used to cook that corn, but still doesn't come out the same. It's good, but it's not like hers. Certainly miss those days, but you should be teaching your children how to cook, and I hear you, I hear you. Well, nobody taught me and that's OK. But we have technology, there's TV shows, there's YouTube I can't stress that enough where you can learn how to cook home cooked meals on the stove, nothing microwave, cutting stuff up, cooking green beans.
Speaker 1:My mom had a garden and we had to go out there, or rather I had to go out there and help pick some of those vegetables for her to cook and she would wash it and all of that and it'd be so good. Not a lot of pesticides like the big farmers do to preserve the vegetables or the fruit and vegetables she would have her garden. So we always had fresh garden vegetables At this age in my life. I certainly appreciate that. Now, you know wasn't going to McDonald's every other day like I did with my kids, or Wendy's or Burger King, all those fast food restaurants, just to say you know I don't feel like cooking today. In my defense, I also was working.
Speaker 1:Still, mom, take the time on your day off to maybe cook a home-cooked meal, because if you are working, like I was working, it is difficult. It's a huge challenge to try to do everything on your day off If you can just find one good recipe and go for it and then let your kids help you. You know one of the things my daughter always tells me that she learned how to cook some things because she was spending time with my mom. She would see her grandma cook all these home-cooked meals, so she learned some things. I feel a little slighted because it wasn't me that was teaching her. She had the best person to model after, which is my mom Moms. I would encourage you. This is something schools shouldn't be teaching our kids how to do. Next year is going to be a different teacher, a different subject, but they're going to be with you long-term, lifelong. This is your opportunity to share with them about cooking.
Speaker 1:Next is insurance. Teach your children about insurance. It really speaks for itself. If you're renting, you have renter's insurance, and if you have a car, you have car insurance. What does insurance represent? It's there to protect your property period. So if something happens, you have insurance to have your property replaced and it's such a good thing. And I remember when I once upon a time ago got insurance, the insurance person was going through and sharing with me about, overall, how much did I need as it relates to protecting my property. I didn't understand a lot of the language and they were like, well, how much is your property worth? That's how much insurance you should get. And then they talked about deductibles and I was like, what is a deductible? Huh, what, when, where, how? But this is important.
Speaker 1:But the insurance talk can come a little later in life, especially when they move out. You can educate them and if you don't have insurance or renter's insurance or car insurance, which is now the law in some states, this is something you will want to look into, moms. But but again, this is a conversation you want to have with your child get a little more mature and start to move out on their own. But again, everybody's different in the way that they do things and so you might want to introduce it earlier. Nothing wrong with that. But kids are smart, they are very smart, so they may be able to help you as it relates to insurance and how much you should get and so forth. And now look at what you just did You're allowing them to get their feet wet in this process. So when they do move out, they're equipped. So when they start talking about renter's insurance or car insurance and I would assume for most kids that would probably start with car insurance and what that means and so you can start there and educating them getting their feet wet, let them start to see what you're enduring as it relates to your insurance needs. Okay, now you're giving them a head start on life, because this is reality. And again, I told you, the best way I learned is to be involved, to be hands-on, and I bet you, many of your children, are probably the exact same way. Many of your children are probably the exact same way. You can talk until you're blue in the face, but unless you actually get and start touching some things, moving some things, that's the real impact of learning, because now you're hands-on, it makes a difference. All right, I don't think I'm gonna be able to finish all of this this week, so we're going to have part two, so I'll just do two more and then I'll finish up next week.
Speaker 1:The other thing you should be teaching your children, and not relying on schools, is basic home repairs. Do you have a toolkit, mom, and they got some cute ones out there too. Some of them come in pink, and if you don't want to do pink, you can do other colors and make it a little more fun. But do you have a hammer? Do you have a screwdriver, a wrench? Why is this important? To teach your child about basic home repairs. For me, you don't have to wait. You don't have to wait for someone else to come in and do some simple things. I recently switched out a door handle. I just wanted something different. I just have my screwdrivers. Phillip turned the back of the box over and I read through it and took the old one out and put the new one in. And again, yes, I read the instructions, but I also just paid close attention to how the other one was set up to also guide me to setting up or installing my new door handle.
Speaker 1:And the other thing, ladies, which is beautiful take pictures. You know we use our phones for other. You know pictures that we take of ourselves, selfies or other people or just whatever's going on in life. But you can take pictures of your project that you're trying to work on like oh okay, well, it was in here like this. Now, why does it look like this. Just something to think about, because I did take a picture of that door handle front and back because, just in case, I had it upside down, which is not uncommon for me, but I could go back and kind of look at the pictures.
Speaker 1:Remember, I'm a visual person and a lot of times they will have pictures on the box. And then again, I cannot stress enough there is YouTube, so if you're trying to install something or fix something, look it up and they'll even tell you what type of tool you'll need. But I would encourage you to get a toolkit, mom, and I hear you. Well, I'm a renter and they have strict policy, blah, blah, et cetera, et cetera. Well, remember, you also put a deposit down. So if something does break or whatever, and they'll take a part of your deposit to repair whatever's broken, but if you knew how to repair whatever it is, guess what, I get my full deposit back. So think about that, think about that, and you just never know when you may need a tool.
Speaker 1:And now, not only do you know, but your children know. This is why this does not belong in the schools. It belongs in your household, mom, you are the teacher. The schools don't need to go back and teach our kids how to do basic home repairs. Those teachers don't live in your house, you do? Y'all hear me my voice changing because I'm getting passionate about a few things. All right, so I'm gonna stop after this one and we'll continue next week.
Speaker 1:You should be teaching, getting your children in position to be taught. It's about self-defense. Why is that important? And even now more than ever, your children should know how to defend themselves. You can look up some things online of what's available, so I'm not going to get too deep in the weeds here, but you should be able to make sure they know how to defend themselves. We shouldn't wait for the school to teach this.
Speaker 1:And then here's the other thing. If we waited on the schools to teach some of these basics of life skills, how do you know what's being taught? How do you know what the teachers are telling them? How do you verify it? And how do you verify they understand what the teacher taught? How do you verify you're not in a classroom? Yeah, they bring home the paperwork or their books or whatever, and you ask them how school was. Oh, yeah, we learned about blah, blah, blah today.
Speaker 1:Okay, how the teacher presented it and how they received it could be two different things. Does it really comprehend of what the teacher was saying? That's why this belongs in your home. This is exactly the reason why we should not put these types of things in the schools, because we don't know what they're teaching. We just know by word of mouth. But when you are one-on-one with your child, with your children, you can take a pulse and say does that make sense? And they can say, yeah, it does, or no, it doesn't. Then you got to say, okay, well, if it doesn't, well, let me reintroduce it another way so that you understand it. But right now, our kids are not equipped to handle certain situations. That's our role. That's our responsibility.
Speaker 1:I flunked in this area. I didn't know how to defend myself when I was growing up, so how can I teach my children and I bet many of you are the same way. But here's the good news it's okay. This is part of your homework, moms. Put it down. Teach my child about self-defense.
Speaker 1:Self-defense isn't all about guns and bullets. I'll say that again, and that's something they will not teach in school. Self-defense isn't all about guns and bullets. I'll say that again, and that's something they will not teach in school. Self-defense is not all about guns and bullets yeah, gun violence. To me, that's why gun violence is so prevalent today is because nobody taught our children how and what to do when they're approached and have to defend themselves. Again, it's not on the school to take ownership of that, it's your job, mom.
Speaker 1:Now you can work with the school and that's what I would recommend, especially if they have some type of curriculum in place as it relates to self-defense. Get a copy of it and ask questions, okay, and maybe there's a partnership that you can develop with the teacher or teachers related to this. Now you are literally on one accord. You're calibrated on what the school is teaching and what you're teaching to make sure your child understands, because again next year your child's going on to a different grade, to a new teacher. But you're going to be always the mom, always. That's never going to change.
Speaker 1:All right, ladies, I'm done for today. Join me back next week as we continue about impact. It'll be impact part two. We'll be talking about social etiquette or manners, personal finance and how to manage that, and talking about wants versus needs. We're going to talk about stress management, yeah, and conflict resolution. Again, these are topics we should be teaching in our households. Mom, all right, I hope you have a fantastic day, a wonderful week and a marvelous month. You have a great day. Ladies Appreciate you, take care.
