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Single Moms United
Encouraging and motivating single mothers, reminding them of their strength and determination. They can succeed as a single parent as long as they remain focused.
Its not about how you arrived at the TITLE, but, what you do with it!
Single Moms United
Empowering through Love and Example
How do single mothers thrive rather than just survive? Join me as I unravel the difference between parenting out of survival versus parenting out of love. I'll share personal stories and experiences that highlight the profound impact of our actions and words on creating an inspiring environment for our children. The importance of being a good example, demonstrating love through sacrifices, and acting as powerful motivators for our kids is a central theme.
Tackling the harsh realities of single parenting, I emphasize the significance of positive role modeling and shielding children from negative influences. Drawing from my own journey, I share tips on supporting kids academically and emotionally, ensuring they receive the encouragement they need. Additionally, I discuss how uplifting and empowering other single moms can create a ripple effect of positivity and support within our community. Tune in to discover how small acts of kindness and motivation can lead to a broader movement of positive change, both in your children's lives and beyond.
https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/
It's not how you arrived at the title, but what you do with it.
Hey ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United podcast. Hey, if this is your first time joining, welcome, and if you are a repeat listener, thank you for your loyalty. I cannot stress that enough. I know, I know there's so many other podcasts out there that you could be listening to, but you decided to drop by Single Moms United and for that I am so very grateful. Hey, I'm not going to prolong the time or anything today. I'm going to jump right into my topic or anything today. I'm going to jump right into my topic.
Speaker 1:You know, over the past few months I've been talking about the letter E and extracting word choices to align them with your parenting skills and giving you examples and so forth. And then I kind of took a break and dabbled a little bit into poetry. Again, I love poets, I love writing poems, and so I started for maybe four or five weeks there, providing different poems, keeping it concise and to the point so that I could keep your attention, and hopefully it worked. It seems like it did, based on the number of folks that have been listening. So that's a good thing, right? So today I'm going to go back to extracting words from particular letters and I'm focusing on vowels right now, starting today and going forward for the next few weeks, few months who knows? I'm going to be focusing on the letter I, and there's so many words that can be pulled from the letter I. That's why I think it's going to probably take me into 2025. I don't know We'll see Taking these words and aligning them or linking them back to parenting skills.
Speaker 1:All of this is available to you, ladies, to be encouraged, because that's what this podcast is all about. I don't know about the other parenting podcasts out there, but this podcast is about encouragement and motivation. So by the time you leave or listen to the entire episode, you should be encouraged. You should be able to take what was shared on this podcast and apply it to your life. That's what's supposed to happen, and if it's not happening, well, good God, almighty, I'm not doing my job very well. I'm just talking about.
Speaker 1:Today's word is inspire. As a mom, and as a single mom, you know we are more than just nurturers and providers. Remember, we are mentors, ladies. Our children, yes, they love us because we provide and we give them unconditional love. But it goes beyond that, and so I want to talk about how are you inspiring your children? Think about that? What are you saying to them every day? What are you allowing them to see and hear?
Speaker 1:A few weeks ago, maybe even a month ago, I saw someone posed a question of were you raised by love or was it about survival? I was like, wow, that's powerful. And it made me look at when I was raising my kids, and I'm going to say it in my out loud voice it was all about survival. It really was, because I wasn't getting child support, I wasn't getting public assistance, so I was out there hustling. So if I'm out there hustling, guess what? Something's not going to happen. And unfortunately, unfortunately.
Speaker 1:Did I tell my kids I loved them? No, it wasn't a word that was used in the household. Am I saying this right? Nope, nope, I'm just saying that at the time, as a single mom, early on in my life, it was about survival. It was making sure I had a roof over my head, making sure the kids had clothes, making sure we had food, putting them in activities and doing all these things.
Speaker 1:Matter of fact, I'm thinking as I'm going down this path that, hey, this is love, right? I don't need to tell you I love you. I'm showing you. I'm out here breaking my back, going above and beyond to make sure you have. And there were times when I needed new shoes or I needed a new dress or a new outfit, but I couldn't afford it because they need it. We needed food, so I had to go with that.
Speaker 1:Again in my mind, hey, isn't that love I'm sacrificing to make sure you have? Isn't that love? So why do I have to say it verbally? If I'm showing you and matter of fact, just, I'm going to get off the exit here for a minute when I am in life, I'd rather you show me how you feel than to tell me, because anybody can say anything, but show me, because that's the truth. There's another saying if someone shows you who they are, believe them, believe them. And that's where I am in life. I'd rather you show me than to tell me, because, again, words mean absolutely nothing if you don't have the evidence to support it.
Speaker 1:All right, I'm back on the highway now of our topic of inspire, now that I've gotten that out the way. So I just want to kind of share with you what the definition is of you know when I looked it up and it says inspire means to motivate, encourage or give life to something. The best way to motivate someone is to set a good example. Doesn't that sound just like us, mom? Example? Doesn't that sound just like us, mom Right, that's us in a handbag right, that's us. We have to make sure we are providing a good example for our children.
Speaker 1:I've mentioned this there is no perfect parent. They do not exist. So don't beat yourself up too bad mom right, trying to strive for perfection. It doesn't exist. But a good and a bad parent does, and I mentioned this before. A good parent teaches, and they teach positive things right, and most of the time, what our kids learn is by what they see. So, mom, the next time you want to cuss somebody out, look around, check and see where your kids are, because one day, once they see you cussing someone out, they're going to come back and cuss you out. Think about that. The boomerang effect is going to come back.
Speaker 1:When I was raising my kids now this is one thing I'm proud of I was, or I tried to be, careful. Let me rephrase I tried to be careful in what I allow my kids to see and hear. Again, did I get it right every time? No, did I get it right most of the time? Yeah, my kids had a curfew or bedtime of nine o'clock. Once I put them in bed at nine o'clock, from that time on it was my time Right. So all of those things were important for them not to hear or see happen after nine o'clock. Because, as a parent, we have to learn how to inspire and show more positive behavior in front of our kids. When we think about inspiration and inspiring someone, it's always going to be positive. We should always look for the good.
Speaker 1:And so, ladies, as your children, if they're in school, how often are you giving them an encouraging word? Is it daily, weekly, monthly? Again, in my household at the time I was raising my kids, I ain't gonna lie, I think it was far and in between, because, remember, in my household it was about survival. The softer side of me, or that should have been there to really go and encourage my kids, wasn't there like it should be. Now can I say that I never encouraged them? I can't say I never encouraged them, but was it often? No, it wasn't often. I'm just going to be transparent. It was not often. Okay, but do I blame anyone? No, at that time, where I was mentally right is to try to provide for my kids, I had to be the mother and the father. I had to try to make sure they had everything they needed and, as a result of that, that's where my mind was. That's where my mind was.
Speaker 1:But, ladies, I want to encourage you to think about inspiring your children and providing inspiration. It could be homework, it could be them in a sport or an activity. What are you saying to encourage them? Hmm, that's your assignment. That's your assignment. Ladies, what are you saying to encourage your child, to motivate them? Because now you're planting these positive seeds and all the negativity that's going on in this world right now, someone has to get in, step up and say you know what, guess what? I'm going to make a difference, because now I'm going to start sowing seeds of positivity, not just when the kids leave for school, have a good day. But, baby, you can do this, you're going to pass that test, be confident.
Speaker 1:I do recall once upon a time ago, my daughter was struggling with this subject and I told her it's okay. And I told her it's okay, it's okay. So she was kind of freaking out about it, right, because I can't get it. But guess what? It's okay. When the curriculum is designed, it's really designed for one size fits all, and we all know that doesn't work. It's designed for it to fit most, but not all. Not all. That's why some students struggle. That's why they need help in certain areas, right? So one of the things I told my daughter see, if she can't meet with the teacher after class or have a conversation with her so she didn't have to feel uncomfortable when there was some type of or whatever the topic was she didn't understand it and not to feel embarrassed by asking the question in front of others. Right, because people will do that. Right, they will make you feel small because you don't understand something.
Speaker 1:Everybody, unfortunately, is not on the same level. Now, does that mean that she was not as smart as the other students? No, we just absorb things differently and for me, I'm the same way. For me, even now, when I have to go through training and things of that sort, I will go back and say, hey, listen, that went right over my head. That's not how I learned. I learned by hands on. So if someone can come back and kind of walk me through it, let me ask a question. Then take another piece, let me ask a question. That's how I learn, whereas there's some people like, oh, got it moving on. And I'm sitting back looking like, yeah, it didn't work for me and that's okay, that's okay, that's okay. That is the phrase that we need to put into our vocabulary on a regular basis because it's going to get us through some of those tough moments, right.
Speaker 1:But back to my daughter. So I told her talk to the teacher, maybe after the class, share with her. Talk to the teacher, maybe after the class, share with her some of the things that she's uncomfortable about the lesson and maybe get more tips and things like that. And guess what, ladies, it worked, it worked. So now my daughter is not in a position of feeling embarrassed because of having to raise her hand or not understanding something that the teacher was saying. And you'd be surprised.
Speaker 1:Maybe your children or your child is the same way and they're afraid. They're afraid to ask, they're afraid to come to you, and so they fake it. They just feel horrible. All of a sudden they get sick, they don't want to go to school I'm not, and I don't want to use the phrase on the same level, but that's probably how they feel right now. All of a sudden, they feel less than because other folks are getting it and they are not.
Speaker 1:But learn to talk with your children, ask them how their day was, have that dialogue with them and then go back and say you know what? I went through this as well. Right, but this is what happened. This is how you overcome this. And then, if necessary, mom, you say listen, I'm going to talk to the teacher as well. If you still feel like you can't work it out with the teacher, then hey, that's when we step in, moms. Yeah, that's right, that's when we step in and talk to the teacher on our child's behalf and talk to the teacher on our child's behalf.
Speaker 1:But we have to get back to inspiring our children. It starts with us. So, mom, let's help build our children's character. Let's start planting those positive seeds, let's start getting them in position for entering the real world, because that's what's happening here At some point they're going to have to leave us and enter into the real world. And guess what? Some of those same exact obstacles that they're facing in school, they're going to face it in the real world. I know, you know that right, because I know that Going through school, it might have been at a smaller level right of some of those challenges.
Speaker 1:But once you get in the real world and you got bills to pay and you got to be an adult, how do you handle these things? How do you do it? So we have to start now, and letting our children or our child know is number one it's going to be okay, you're going to get through this. And then you yourself, when you are facing that challenge, let them see how you handle it in a positive manner. A positive manner, right, so we don't get to cussing and fussing, ok, ok, thank you. Thank you. Let me go back and look at this in a different way. Right, you're calm, you're handling this situation. This is what your child or your children needs to see.
Speaker 1:Now, one thing, as I close this out think about inspiring words or word choices that you can use, that you can share with your child or your children every day. That's wonderful, great job, you can do this. It's all about motivation, ladies, and inspiring. Think about someone that inspires you. Think about those character traits that you most admire about that person. I'll take this time to share mine of who inspired me.
Speaker 1:It was both of my parents. Both of my parents inspired me, but more so my mom. I saw my mom in a leadership role. Yeah, I saw how she handled situations in a leadership role, not just in our household, but she worked in a church. She was in leadership at the church. She did some other things with our family as a whole that she led. That inspired me to see how she handled her ability to organize and be positive. Anytime something negative would come her way, she'd spin it and make it a positive. As a result of seeing that and in my role in my job, you know, along my career, I'm Most of the time I was in a leadership role and that's why.
Speaker 1:And then for people to come back and say, oh, I'm so inspired by you. Well, I got it from my mom. I got it from my mom. So, ladies, that's the impact you can have on your children. And when I see my kids and I see them in leadership roles and how they're interacting with people, it just makes me so proud because now these are some of the things I know they saw in me because of how they're replicating the behavior. So, ladies, be a strong role model, be an encourager, be a motivator and, all in all, just learn to inspire your children, because they are watching, they're watching, they're listening, they're paying attention. All right, ladies, I'm done.
Speaker 1:I hope you enjoyed today's episode with inspiring one another and, matter of fact, not just inspire your kids, but inspire another single mom. That's what this podcast is all about, and I hope that you know I don't need 25 young ladies to come. Hey, you inspired me and I'm good to go. I just need one. I just need one to say thank you for that, because that's where we're at. And then that one says I'm inspired. Then guess what? She's going to pass it along to another one. Now you got that domino effect. We're inspiring one another, one at a time. We don't have to have 20, 30, 40, 50, 100, right, we can ultimately get there, but we have to start encouraging one another, moms. We have to. All right, I'm done. I promise you all have a great day. If you were encouraged and or inspired by this episode, you know what to do. Tell another single mom. Have a great day, ladies, take care.
